How to write like a ninja-

Hi guys! I don't suppose anyone's reading this, but oh well! *stares sadly at screen, drowning sadly in the bathtub of self pity*
Here's a really cool blog post from an awesome blog. It's epic.
http://howtowritelikeaninja.blogspot.co.uk/

Now, you're probably wondering, "Why would I want to write like a ninja?" To which I would reply with another simple statement: Ninjas are swift, precise, to the point -- and, most importantly -- you never mess with a ninja. (Also, ninjas are super-cool!)

These are the reasons, you, you smart person, you, want to write like a ninja:

1.)Ninjas are fierce.

To write fiercely, you have to be fierce. You can't write half-assed and expect to be called great (let alone good -- or even mediocre). You have to mean it and own it -- just like a ninja. 

2) Ninjas are concise. 

A ninja (aka "good writer") doesn't go on and on for six pages about the color of the sky. A ninja can paint a vibrant picture with just a few strokes of the brush (or, in your case, pen or keys). A ninja knows how to balance action and description to write prose so exquisitely executed it makes the angels cry, babies smile, and mayors give you a key to their city. A ninja is concise. 

3)Nobody corrects a ninja. 

Remember how in school, your teacher would take out her read pen and strike through your page that was riddled with comma splices, because all you wanted to do was show her what a good comma-user you were? Well, when you write in The Real World (yes, capitol letters), the closest equivalent to English teachers are editors. If you are sending in work, hoping to be published by their publication, they won't take out their nifty red pen, hold your hand, and show you what you did wrong. They'll throw you beloved manuscript (aka "Baby") into the slush pile (aka "trash"). 

Now, you have a horrified look on you're face and you're saying, "I never want that to happen tome!" The good news is: it doesn't have to. Because nobody corrects a ninja. If you pay attention to what I say, you'll laugh in the face of red pens, secure in the knowledge that your use of commas is now appropriate -- and, better yet -- appreciated.  

4.) People who write like ninjas are often referred to as "good writers". 

Precision, technique, practice and a strong command of your own written language is all you need to write like a ninja. You CAN do it. 

5.) Ninjas are super-cool. 

You know they are. 

As you can see, I take a ridiculous and awesome (or ridiculously awesome) approach to teaching writing. Want to be like me? Be a ninja. Read your blog.

Adieu! ^.*